Metropolitan Police Whistle – Standard Operating Procedures

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An interesting night shift last night, the shift briefing at 9pm including an input from one of “the old sweats” requesting assistance. Said “old sweat” had recently been “allocated and had attended” the relevant training course for dangerous dogs spoc, and wildlife spoc (not really).

An interesting night shift last night, the shift briefing at 9pm including an input from one of “the old sweats” requesting assistance. Said “old sweat” had recently been “allocated and had attended” the relevant training course for dangerous dogs spoc, and wildlife spoc (not really).
As part of an emerging study and live operation, Officers were asked to provide acr (dispatch/control etc etc) with sightings of urban foxes, as there was concern that increasing numbers of car vs fox collisions is having a significant effect on fox numbers in the 3rd largest city in the UK (Sheffield). All, bar a naive and gullible student Officer, were in on this falsehood, as were the control room staff who, and I quote, were “ready and waiting to really milk it”.

Anyway, all is quiet for the first few hours as said student completes his independent paperwork. The time comes for him to leave the office. Cue “(call sign) to control”
Acr: “Go ahead”
Pc: “Re op fox watch, we’ve got a fox on (road name)”
Acr: “Roger that. We’ll update the log, any further information?”
Pc: “It’s dead, been hit by a car”
Acr (with no wavering in their voice): “Received”

Shift promptly enter a phase of what can only be described as…..hysterical laughter.

Around two hours later….

Pc (yep, same student): “(call sign) to control”
Acr: “Go ahead”
Pc: “Re operation fox watch. We’ve got another fox on (road name)”
Acr (and this was genius): “Yes yes, pass description”
Pc: “Err…. It’s got a bit of black on its chest”

Never have I laughed so much, and I’ve been in the job for over 10 yrs.

Disclaimer: said Officer is aware of the banter and at this moment in time does not appear to need either a first contact advisor nor counselling.